jen and toffy

This is Jen and Toffy....and this is a sneak peak at their session that I recently shot. To see more images head over to my photo blog and check it out!
www.angielynphoto.blogspot.com

updates and thoughts

So far the month of April has been good...I have had my good days and my bad days in regard to my mom and the disease that she bears...I HATE ALZHEIMERS. April 4th was mom's birthday, this was an especially tough day for me. Hard for me, because my mom means so much to me and it is hard to sit and watch what she has become. There have been many times in the last month that I thought...maybe we should just bring mom home to live with us...but I am gently reminded that it would not be wise for me to do so. I know that my mom is in a good place, they know her and love her and care for her in a way that I know I couldnt. April is a tough month for me, because I too celebrate my birthday...a day that an amazing woman gave birth to me. A day that she no longer remembers..she doesnt even know who I am any more....how am I supposed to celebrate knowing this? I thank God everyday that I got to spend all those years with my mom...she was an amazing woman. I recently ran across some notes from another lady who is going through what I am going though...her thoughts capture what I am feeling

Just try to take one day at a time and when God feels it's the right time, he will come to get her.
I am feeling less guilty about wanting my mother to go to God. I pray every day that he will take her and rid her of this awful desease. I have quit my job, my friends and some of my family because I find it too much to try and act "normal". Nothing feels normal in my life. I constantly worry about my mother and her well being in the nursing home even though after a year the facility has proven to be a very caring place. I even feel guilty about enjoying a sunny day while I picture my Mom in the nursing home. I have so much to be thankful for but I am mad at God right now.

Every word...that is how I feel...so if you see me and I am not "normal"...you know why. I know that my mom loves me even though when I am there she doesnt know me. My love for her will never change....she is my mom, one of my best friends.