thoughts and such.....

November 7, 2007

The first Tuesday night of every month is Alzheimer's Support Group night. Ryan and I became involved in May and have been going once a month to these meetings. Our first time there was a milestone in the fact that I got to share all that was going on and then found out that I am not alone in what is going on...there are others that are dealing with the same issues. It has been an amazing forum for us and I look forward to going each month....there are many times that I wish it were more than once a month...

Last night was our meeting night and we went. We had nothing new to report...just going for support...maybe a few answers to questions. I didn't expect what I would find last night. We were starting the meeting when in walked a few new faces. Father and daughter...and the father was so overwhelmed by what was and is happening to his wife of 53 years. He is 77 years old and the primary care giver of his wife who is 75. She was diagnosed a few years back and is going through what my mom went through. At any rate this man....a gem of a man...told us his story and I thought of my step father Art and all that he did for my mom. He was the primary care giver to her..he had countless nights of no sleep because my mom would wander and turn on lights or do silly things that at the time made no sense...He gave up so much for her to stay at home as long as she did and for that I am so thankful. I guess I never realized just how much he did...He was kind and passionate and gentle...he took care of my mom as best as he could...no formal training..nothing ...just what he knew to do by instincts.
Words cant express how thnakful I am that he was there to care for my mom..I know that we have had our differences..but the one common thing that we share is a love for my mom and only wanting what is best for her.
So we had nothing to share last night ...but I learned a whole lot and God is tugging at my heart strings to really reach out and thank Art for all that he did and is still doing! He needs to know that I am grateful!!

reflection...

October 23, 2007

Ryan and I returned home from our vacation last week in Escondido. We played golf, we played tennis, we drank wine and then more wine at the local wineries..we saw the wild animals and we relaxed. Just what the doctor ordered a little time away from our normal lives. I find it funny that although we didn't go somewhere exotic or far off ( we were only 60 miles from home) we rested. Its amazing what a change of scenery can do for you! All in all we had a great time and we really enjoyed using our timeshare! (what a blessing)

As we were returning home we were listening to the news of the wildfire in Malibu and wondering why the sky was so dark and smoky...could it be just from the fire in Malibu? And to our surprise it wasnt..there were a few fires going. The closest we have been to the fires is to the one that started in Irvine. So many of our friends live so close to the burn area and were on alert in case of evacuation...so we opened our doors to them...but thankfully (because their houses are still standing) no one needed housing....but our doors are still open and the air purifier is still running..keeping the air in the house breathable! The fires arent even close to being out and there are about 1 million people right now in Southern Cal that are displaced...my prayers are with them all!

In mom news...she is doing okay...she took a fall last week, but nothing to bad..just a bruise and small cut on her arm. It was good to see her after being away for such a long time... I missed her! Perhaps tomorrows visit will be a little better...we shall see!

Enjoy some pictures from our vacation!!

another update...

Its been a while since I wrote an update about my mom...things have been going well, not great but not to terribly bad. I believe that she is nearing the end..just today when I was with her she looked as though she was losing muscle tone in her face. It is hard to see my mom like this. She is much calmer these days..thanks to the mounds of meds that she has to take. But at any rate, she is calmer..she seems at times to be relaxed. Her muscles are becoming more rigid and she really cant see anything..she is (I believe) 100% blind now. They tell me that she is still sleeping from 8:30pm to 8:30am with no interuptions ( I do envy that) and that she is eating pretty well. Her appetite has decreased..but she still insists on walking around. She has had no major accidents..so there have been no trips to the ER lately.
I am trying my best to see her every other day....it is hard as I would rather go see her everyday. But I know for my own health and wellbeing that I need to take breaks. She is being cared for and loved by the staff at Bryant Ranch.

Thats pretty much it...

Amy and Andy come to town....oh so briefly...

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Amy and andy came into town this past weekend..a short little visit from Denver. We were able to spend most of Sunday with them. The weather was perfect...couldnt ask for a nicer day.. it had rained the day before so the skys were bright blue and the sun was out...beckoning us to Balboa! Andy has never been to Balboa ( he's from Chicago)..so we went and enjoyed the day on the beach. Shopping and eating and laughing...

Ryan and I cant wait until our trip to Colorado...perhaps this November we will make it out there....to see the seasons change and to spend more precious time with a dear friend! I am blessed beyond measure!!!

September Update

It's been far to long since I last posted anything and felt that I needed to. Let me first say I am sorry to the Korn Family for a previous post. I was upset with a certain situation and should have kept my feelings to myself. I am sorry if I hurt any of you in the process.

As mentioned before this has been a tremendously hard for me. Watching your mom decline before you eyes is hard. It has taken a toll on me and I am on those around me.

There has been no real change with my mom lately..I think in a way she is giving up. I think on some level she knows that her body is giving away and that her days are growing shorter. It is because of this that I spend time with her. She is my mom, the only one I've got...except my most amazing mother in law....Love you Jo!!

I often find myself thinking about the days growing up with my mom. The fun that we would have...just me, my mom and my grandma..we were Liz's girls... My mom was my best friend, I could tell her anything. She was who I turned to for advice and comfort when things were hard or tough in my life. I cant turn to her now...all I have are the memories. Thank you mom for making my childhood such a fun one filled with such amazing memories!

On another note...not to change the topic so drastically.....but it is hard to type with tears in my eyes... I didnt get the job with the YMCA..I was told that I had a job and offered the job, but then told I needed to go to one more interview. Say what? So I went and didnt get the job. I know now that this is God way of really SLAMMING that door shut and locking it with a million little locks....and a big sign that says..."STAY OUT..NOT FOR YOU" So for now I am doing my photography thing...looking into art school and taking care of my family.

I am super excited for this weekend...my best friend Amy will be here. More than a friend to me....more like a sister! I cant wait!!! Until then...

as promised

As promised....here are some pictures of the puppy that my niece and nephew got. Her name is Yankee SnickerDoodleDandee...snickers for short!!! Enjoy!

September 2, 2007 Update

Okay....it has been a few days and things have happened..so I might as well update this!

Mom: We had an appointment with her Psychiatrist this past Thursday to change up her meds, so she wouldn't be as agitated in the afternoons...so far it is working. Ryan and I went to see her yesterday and she was nearly asleep..so relaxed and peaceful. It was a huge blessing to me to see that...today I am going to attempt to give her a haircut....that should be fun!

YMCA: I interviewed with them on Tuesday and should know something this week. I am really excited about this opportunity and really feel good about it. What a great job it would be for me....and I know that I would be good at it! So with any luck, next time I write about it...it will be that I got the job!!!

In other news..my adorable nephew Jacob started High school this past week. I have only been in the family for 3 years...but this kid has really been a huge blessing and it is strange to see him in high school, talking about football games and such. Its quite fun. My niece Rebecca starts high school this week as well....these kids sure are growing up fast. And last but not least, Jacob and Megan finally got their puppy. She arrived yesterday via airplane from Oregon. Her name (for now) is Snickers (Yankee Snickerdoodle Dandee). She is quite possibly one of the cutest puppies I have seen. She is a GoldenDoodle (part golden retriever and part poodle..this makes her hypo-allergenic) So excited to have a new puppy in the family and am waiting for it to grow to be a BIG dog....sorry Craig!!!

will post pictures of this most adorable creature later!